The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Randomize