This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
