Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
