This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
