O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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