she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
