Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Randomize
