I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
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