bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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