If i come over, it means nothing
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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