I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
