Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I think I just sharted jello shots
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
