I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
