Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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