Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize