I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
