nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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