im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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