i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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