the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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