Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
