now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Randomize