You're completely useless in the revolution.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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