dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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