Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
