dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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