I think i sorta joined a cult last night
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
