the only muscles i have these days is kegels
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Randomize
