I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize