he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
