Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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