why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
