Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
