i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
is wine microwaveable?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
soo... how was my night?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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