Acid is not a monday night drug
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
