My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
