He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize