nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
someone threw a dead crab at me
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
