The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
