Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
