At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
