Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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