sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
