The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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