Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Acid is not a monday night drug
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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