no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Randomize
