so that wasnt chicken after all
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
