But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
