Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
