She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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