ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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