how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
