I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
