Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I'm at about main and main street
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
