it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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