we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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