At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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