we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
