i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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