I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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