I bet he comes in French.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
thus making me awesome and them whores
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I have tasted many bathrooms
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
