i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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