I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
