she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
