wat bout pragnant strippers??
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
