okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
