have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
